Randomly Ridiculous – #Atozchallenge

At first I had the idea of naming this post “Rufnummernerkennung” which means caller ID in English. It’s a brilliant word, isn’t it? It’s one of those words that make the Scotsman go mad, like “You bloody Germans and your snakelong words. Why don’t you use a sentence or a phrase, like normal people do. No, not you, you just take five nouns and stick them together with some goo and that’s you.” You can guess how he’s getting on with his German lessons. Hint: Not well.

Anyhow, besides what some people in some nations still think, Germany is quite a modern country. Yes, we have electricity, central heating, solar panels on our roofs and colour tv. We even have microwave popcorn and cream in a tube, although nobody ever asked for that. We also have caller ID, which I hate in private but love at work. In private I hate it because when somebody broke your heart or doesn’t call you back after life-altering sex, it should be your legal right to call him up to 35 times a day without knowing it was you. (/joke)

At work I love caller ID because it can lead to randomly ridiculing yourself or others, may it be on purpose or by accident. Depending on how close we work with someone or how well we get along personally with them, my colleague whom I share an office with and I answer our phones in (semi-)funny ways. Sometimes I do accents, expecting a giggle from the other end just to realize it’s my boss calling from somebody elses phone because he thought of something urgent while he was in a meeting in said person’s office. Mostly he giggles anyhow, before he writes a note into his little brown diary: “Check Jasmins desk drawers for soft drugs”. My colleague in the meantime calls a number and realizes too late that her call got redirected, by which time she already asked  a personal question or made funny noises, which usually causes the other person to have a tiny sense of humor failure.

One time she allegedly called a colleague whom she has known for years and was really good friends with as well, and when the phone was answered she said something along the lines of “Sorry about my husband almost catching us this morning, I thought he would be gone all week. But you were absolutely brilliant last night, as always.” The person who had answered the phone almost fell to bits. So did I; and my calling colleague. I’d never heard so many synonyms for the word “sorry” in my life. After she hung up she just looked at me, all flushed, and whispered: “Next time our boss calls and asks if we want any training, just enroll me for The Art of Acting Professional on the Phone, please?”

Well, I guess admitting the problem is half the cure, right?

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