Ehh…no! – #atozchallenge

I am very late today. Well, the working me that has her shit together left the office quarter to seven. After 10 hours spent at work, trying to solve other peoples problems. Now, at ten p.m. my time, I am writing as drunk me that cannot keep her shit together and eats too many carbohydrates so she’ll never lose those 30 pounds she gained over the past five years.

Indicators to tell you you are working to much:

  • The only piece of clothing that is freshly washed is your owl onesie that you ordered on amazon as a compromise between the unicorn suit that you originally wanted so badly and the playsuit your spouse wanted you to wear on ‘those special nights’. On the pictures it looked like Owl of the Winnie-the-Pooh stories. But when it finally arrived from China it looked like a penguin with hypothermia on LSD but you wouldn’t send it back because the store it was send from is hidden behind three false adresses located in London, Paris and Barcelona and you are scared that the customs office at the airport is going to charge you an amount of money that is worth your last paycheck and this all seems like a huge hassle just to get back your 35 dollars.
  • The person you are sharing a flat with hides behind the door, ready to charge, holding a baseball bat, yelling: “Take what you want but don’t shoot me!” when you walk in. At least your keys still work. And he still lives here.
  • The only edible things in your pantry are a can of anchovies and a bar of dark chocolate. And you don’t like either. Who bought this stuff? Maybe it came with the flat, and we have to leave it when we move out? I can’t remember, I’m overworked.
  • You are glad you didn’t get the dog that you wanted but instead you have a medium sized stuffed toy duck. Because the duck doesn’t need to be walked or fed. It looks accusingly from time to time for not being snuggled enough but there are no real consequences like loud barking or whining because it feels lonely. It doesn’t bite and it doesn’t get smelly. Except this one time the Scotsman wiped his naked bottom with the duck because he got jealous. The duck and I don’t want to talk about it. We still go to therapy.

I should probably go to bed now. See you tomorrow. I apologize, I don’t know what for exactly but I have the feeling I should. Sorry.

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