How does this become that?

I am not ugly. I kind of know this because lots of people have told me that I’m not. One guy even fell in love with me at first sight – this was a long time ago, and he might have been colourblind. (I was wearing grass green jeans and a red sweater. Yeah, I don’t know why either.) But still… people sometimes – when I have a really good hair day – look at me when I walk into a restaurant, and I always check that it’s not because my bottom’s hanging out my trousers or I got toilet paper on my shoe. One of my former boyfriends even told me once, I looked like Charlize Theron in Aeon Flux – a statement that had more to do with my haircut at the time than with my actual resemblance to said lady. But, just for the sake of this post, let’s pretend he was right. How, I ask you, can I look like this in real life:

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image taken from ‘Aeon Flux’, property of Paramount Pictures

and end up like this as soon as somebody takes a camera and points it straight at me:

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image found on isnichwahr.de

???

I kid you not: If somebody told me, my family had been kidnapped and the only way to set them free before their faces were eaten by fire ants was to take a picture of me and post it straight on facebook, the fire ants would have a proper feast and probably die of overeating.

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