Jokes the Scotsman likes to tell aka Worst Jokes ever #2


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What’s brown and sticky? – A stick.

What is black and white and eats like a horse? – A zebra.

What does a Buddhist say to a hen? Hey, ma laya!


A white horse walks into a bar. The bartender says ‘We got a whiskey named after you’. The horse says ‘What, Colin?’


Three pieces of string walk into a bar. The first piece of string walks up to the bar, comes back and says ‘The bartender wouldn’t give me a drink, he said they don’t serve pieces of string.’ The second piece of string walks up to the bar, the same thing happens. The third piece of string says ‘I got this’ and walks up to the bar. The bartender asks ‘Aren’t you also a piece of string?’ The string ruffles his hair and replies ‘No, I’m a frayed knot.’


A bear walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says ‘I’d like to have a glass of…milk, please.’ The bartender says ‘Why the big pause?’ The bear looks down on his hands and mumbles ‘The ones of my parents were the same size.’

That was it! What a pun time!